Tue 20 Feb 2007
Human Nature
Posted by Jane under Updates
[14] Comments
When Ramona was on the brink of death last Wednesday, all I wanted was to see her open her eyes one more time. In my grief, I just couldn’t imagine not having a chance to spend one more moment with her.
When I brought her to the emergency room, I had no idea how sick she was. Usually when you show up to an ER, you can plan on waiting for hours just to see a nurse. When I checked in at triage, the nurse looked at her clipboard and took us immediately back to a room. I said “Maybe I should give her a bottle so she’ll be calm for her exam”. The nurse actually laughed a little and said “Oh honey, she won’t be able to eat for a while”. Within about 3 minutes there were literally 12 people in the room running around, poking Ramona, yelling things out and scaring me half to death. That was when I called Andy and said “You better get down here”.
So, I never really got a chance to sit her down and say “Baby, you’re sick. The doctors are going to do everything they can to help you. Don’t be afraid. Try your best. We’re proud of you no matter what”. When Ramona survived the night I was so relieved just to be able to go to her bedside and tell her how much I love her. In that moment I felt that just seeing her one more time with her eyes open, just to connect with her once more the way we used to would be enough.
Yesterday I was talking with the nurse practitioner about what life might be like for our family if we are able to someday bring Ramona home. She mentioned that she would most likely need a feeding tube that would be through her nose and taped to her face. I’m ashamed to admit that I burst into tears. It’s amazing to me that in the space of a week I’ve gone from crying out to God to save her life, to grieving that she might not be “normal” when we bring her home. I’m trying to rest in the joy of every moment with her and not worry about what the future might hold for our family.
Andy and I think that we do well with big changes. Simon’s overnight adoption has been such an amazing experience. The adjustment to life at home with two small babies was such a challenge and a joy to me. I’m holding on to hope that this new chapter will bless us in ways we just can’t see yet.
Here’s the plan for Ramona today: They are continuing to wean her off the narcotics and sedatives. They give her methadone and ativan to compensate for this change. As she wakes up more they have told us to expect her oxygen saturations to fluctuate more. She had a spell this morning where they came down into the mid 60’s. They said this would be normal for her and as long as she can calm herself down without any drug intervention it’s okay. They are also reducing her ventilator rate little by little. If all goes well they thought they may even be able to extubate her (take the tube out of her throat, for those who don’t watch ER) sometime this week! We are so hoping for that because it will really help her remain calmer and she’ll start to look more like her old self.
On a non-medical note we put a shirt on her today, I’m going to try and post a picture. We had to cut it in the back to accomodate all the tubes, but it’s still pretty cute. Sorry Jen, it was one of your hand-me-downs and the damage was done before I realized it wasn’t mine to mess up. We also brought over her Baby Papasan and if she wakes up and seems stable enough, we might move her into it so she can be a little more cozy.
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers,
Jane
Whatever our family looks like, whatever our family is, is ok.
Jane,
It blesses us to know that Ramona is wearing what was once Michaela’s shirt. We so want to cover her and all of you with our love and support so I love that she is literaly wearing our love in a way.
You and Andy adapt better than any couple I have ever known to what God gives you. You see the blessing in it all and I know you will continue to be great parents no matter what the details look like in the days to come.
We Love you,
The Sages
We have been honored to be able to support you guys. Hang in there Mom, Dad, Brother and mostly Ramona.
Jane,
Such a beautiful tender mother you are!
You know, I think we always want normal…i just think that God knows what is going to be normal for each family…I often wish I knew that.
” I know the plans that I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you a hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11
“He tends his flock like a shepherd;He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those who have young” Isaiah 40:11
I do believe with you that with that each chapter is going to bring blessings abundant and your vulnerability as you walk on this journey has already been a blessing to others.
Love to you,
Nicole
Dear Ramona-
I was thinking about you today because I ran across a pack of sunflower seeds. You don’t know what sunflowers are yet probably but just wait and I know your mom will show you.
You know what I like about sunflowers? Well, first of all they are really beautiful, bright sunny yellow on the petals and deep mustard yellow inside (at least the ones I have seeds for, you know there are many kinds…)
I like them because they grow tall, maybe even taller than your dad…yeah, I know! That’s pretty tall!
I like them because when they are full grown they have these large flower faces, their heads are soooo heavy that sometimes they look at the ground, it’s like they are sleeping. Maybe you have a grandpa that does this, sitting in his chair and his chin rests on his chest as he nods to sleep…you know?
What I like most about sunflowers though, Ramona is that when the sun comes out they lift their big heads and look right up to the sun. They sit there and soak up the warmth and the rays of life-giving light and in that moment they are so radiant, Ramona, it’s true.
Well, those are the main reasons that I like sunflowers so much. I just wanted to tell you about that.
Maybe you and your mom can plant some sunflowers in your yard sometime. Your mom is really good at growing and nurturing things…
have a good afternoon!
Miss Angela
I’m checking in everyday, several times a day and praying constantly for all of you. Ramona has come so far in just a week! Amazing. Only God can do stuff like this. He rocks.
Psalm 20
May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.
May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.
~Selah~
May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests. Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.
Hi Jane
I have been following your story via the December EC Board. My son, Wren, was also born with serious heart defects but his were diagnosed in utero.
I just wanted to let you know that the NG tube is really not a big deal. Wren came home with one and had it in for a few weeks. The first days home were a bit tricky as we gained confidence in giving breastmilk via tube but after a while we were pro’s.
You don’t even see the tube anymore and it doesn’t seem to cause discomfit, just annoyance as those little hands tend to tug it out.
I hope Ramona continues to improve and gets extubated really soon. Each time she gets through a change in meds she is one step closer to coming home.
Hugs to you all
Shannon
Jane, you and your entire family are in my prayers and my little Mason is pulling for Ramona to show her strength. Ive forwarded this website to all of my family, and they too, are praying for Ramona! Miracles do happen..you have to believe
Dear Jane and Andy,
Julie (bless her heart)called me yesterday to let us know what was going on. I wish I could hold the tears long enough to tell you something meaningful, helpful and profound……..not doing real well w/that. You and Andy are very brave and wonderful. God certainly knew who he could trust when he had a special little bundle that would be in for a bumpy ride.
I will tell you…….I had a sister who was born w/cystic fibrosis, so I have spent a good deal of my early life at Cook County(now STroger) and Childrens hospital. They didnt know it when she was born, but at about 3 months she started losing weight and other problems started. My parents were beyond shocked and terrified when the doctors told them the details and prognosis. At 6 months, she was given 1 yr. At one year, they were told it would be a miracle if she made 2. She lived 23 wonderful yrs.(not all of it was good for her or easy, but I dont ever remember her letting it get the best of her) She was one of those people who was sent as a gift from God. I am thankful every day, that she was my sister and I cant tell you how much she taught me about life. She was a truly inspriational person. There was so much packed into that little person and she taught everyone she touched about life, love, family and friendship. She really really LIVED her life and had fun doing everything. We are so lucky to have these people in our lives who can teach us so much.
We are praying for all of you, wishing on stars, crossing our fingers and sending lots of love,
Bill, Paula, Linnea and Justin
We prayed for you in Boston this Sunday… I was at a church I love amidst strangers, and Sara (now my new friend) and I prayed that Ramona would have every gift, including length of days.
So grow, grow, grow, Ramona, grow in strength, grow in joy, grow in love, grow in laughter, grow in wisdom, grow in hope, grow in curiosity, grow in chutzpah, grow in grace and good health, grow, grow, grow in joy…grow into those tender yet tenacious hands that hold tight to the promises that were made before you were born…
Scout sends a snuggle…
Jane and Andy,
Your strength is astonishing, superhuman, from God. Seeing Ramona lying there attached to tubes, waiting patiently, trying to understand what is happening is beyond heart-rending. I just weep. So many strong emotions. And yet you both are so strong. I am ashamed of all the small things I’ve gotten upset about in the last six years as a parent and all the complaining I’ve ever done as a parent. My complaints have all been ridiculously trivial compared with feeding tubes, narcotics and sedatives. You both are keeping your focus on what is important. Thank the Lord Ramona is a fighter! God definitely has great plans for her. You are such GREAT parents. Thank you for sharing your strength and Ramona’s strength with all of us. Angie words are so reassuring…One day you’ll take a picture of Ramona gazing up at a sunflower and remind her how she inspired so many people just by being herself.
Jane & Andy-
We are Nancy and Dick Fisher’s son and daughter in law. We had the pleasure of seeing your Dad and Mom over Christmas in PA. We learned about your growing family then and have been keeping up to date now. We are sending you lots of love and prayers.
Rick & Susan Fisher
Ramona,
So, there’s something you should know. We have this creator, God…who is very purposeful in everything he does. Some call him “holy”, which means set apart. God inspired some people to write this book called the bible. And in the bible there are these two women that God set apart (a.k.a. holy) “for such a time as this”. There was a girl named Ruth who, after her husband died…remained faithful to her mother in law and God used her to do a lot of good. And then there’s this girl Esther…that God designated to save her people, The Jews. (I would know these stories in greater detail, but i read too much Cosmopolitan!) She didn’t know that she was going to be used in such a powerful way, but she stayed open to Gods plan. I want you to know that I believe you are set apart and though i have yet to meet you in person, i have met you in my prayers and in my heart and you have been chosen by God to show many people (myself included) grace, faith, and God’s abiding love. I know that you can pull through this and I look forward to meeting you.
Love,
The “Auntie Meg” (technically we’re cousins…but to hell with logistics!)
Jane and Andy, Ramona and Simon:
Just a quick note to let you all know that I love you. Short and sweet. And since we don’t know each other really, really well, you may not know it already. So, now I’ve said it and now you know. I love you.
Dina