Thu 15 Mar 2007
Consequences
Posted by Jane under Updates
[27] Comments
Have I mentioned that grief makes you a whack job? Here is a list, in no particular order, of some the things which have occurred to me may be the cause of Ramona’s birth defect:
1. I microwave leftovers in their tupperware, leaching toxins into my food.
2. I keep the seat in my car too far forward. Not sure what the danger would be, but being so close to the engine can’t be good, right?
3. My pants are too tight.
4. Maybe I swallow an abnormally large amount of toothpaste when I brush, giving myself chromosome-mutating flouride poisoning.
5. I take too many hot baths and have cooked my genetic material.
6. I ate beef jerky and diet soda together (road trip). I read somewhere that this combination turns into some kind of Love Canal slurry in your stomach, which I believe.
And don’t worry, I know logically I did nothing to cause Ramona’s condition. I think it’s just wild the lengths to which our minds will go so that the world make sense. And if it was any of these things, so be it. You can see from today’s picture that she’s quite pleased with herself and, although I wish she weren’t sick, I’m pleased with her too.
Jane.
she is just the cutest thing i have ever seen! and has every reason to be pleased with herself. thanks for posting the pictures.
My mom says we should change the name of the syndrome from 22q11 to “twenty-too cute-eleven”.
I like it! Twenty too cute eleven. Works for me. Ramona you look so much bigger than the last time I saw you! Keep on growing girl!
Jane, thanks for sharing your list – the mind is a mysterious thing.
Much love to you all
Jen
I’m pretty sure I’m seeing a little baby belly filling out that dress. baby bellys are the best.
Wow, she looks so cute and happy. Are the little mits to stop her grabbing the oxygen and ng tubes? Do they work? (my fear was always that Wren would pull that tube out and we would have to replace it. It only happened once and I managed to get it back in without too much drama but I never tried mits.)
I am glad you are feeling a bit better. Of course, you didn’t cause her heart defect or the chromosomal difference. Still, I am also reaching for cause:
1) codliver oil. I was prescribed codliver oil by my naturopath but found out it has lots of vitamin A which is sometimes correlated with heart defects. Sure, its at higher doses but maybe the dose I took did it.
2) My advanced maternal age. When I received my hospital bill for delivery it said “aged prima gravida.” I was 39 and I feel it was my lousy eggs. This could also be true although half my friends had babies this age and nothing bad happened. I have since read there is a correlation between maternal age and child’s life expecatancy. Kids born to young moms live longer so I am also feeling guilty I didn’t procreate 20 years ago.
3) The microwave and the wireless network. Not the plastics.. the radiation! I know the phone is messed up when I turn on the microwave so I fear it cooked my reproductive parts somehow.
4) An unknown chromosomal problem. I keep fearing that Wren will be diagnosed with something else that caused the problem in some way. This is the lurking anxiety looking to find a face.
Anyway, thanks, as always for poking a hole in the boogey man.
Jane,
I love the Ramona pictures! She looks so sweet.
Bug
Definitely the beef jerky.
Dear Ramona – Sweetheart, you be styling! Grammie does love you!
Jane-She does look pleased with herself (and so pretty too!) I imagine her look to say “I am doing some pretty serious growing of my arteries here, and isn’t pink my color?”
In His Love and mine-
Too cute is right!!
Jane,
She is soooo precious! I can’t wait to see my little neice on Saturday! I just can’t wait. Of course I can’t wait to see the rest of you either
Lots and lots of love to all of you.
Aunt Bekah
What a cutie! I love her booties.
Jane: We are SO the same guy! Your list sounds eerily like exactly the way my brain works. Blessings to us whacky mommies!
This is a delightful picture and Ramona does look like she is “filling out” I love it. It looks like the weather is staying warm in Chicago with those bare legs. We had a few teasers and now the temp. is back in the high 20’s. The ice fishermen like it though!
I, too, had my list (and add to it when things are really tough) when Joseph was first diagnosed with Scleroderma. Unfortunately there was also someone in the family who said it WAS MY fault that Joseph had this autoimmune disorder.
You have a beautiful daughter. What a blessing to have such a support system as you travel this road!
Love to you,
Nicole
What a beautiful baby!!!
I agree, Ramona does look like she is filling out.
Keep fightin’ kiddo! Give her a hug and kiss from me!!! (oh and if it’s not too much trouble, would you rob her head for me too??)
i never did feel that izzy was sick because of my doing, i changed things before I got pregnant, switched to decaf coffee, eat healthy cont to exercise I think the things we did in pregnancy prob lay gave our children a better chance, gave them a stronger will to fight:) when they tested izzy for digorege I was so afriad of her ohs and her recovery that I did not but too much thought into all the other things that might come and when she was negitive I thanked god but then a couple of weeks later she was dx with phaces syndrome and a whole new can of worms opened. I was excited at first that there was a name to what izzy had and thought that it would lead to more answers and better are and preventive measures but phaces is new and unknown and so a name is all we really got and alot more doctors followed. things have gotten a little smoother and daily, weekly monthly the apts have thinned out to one a week now. it is a chanellge I a am now a space cadet i feel sorry for some people who have to try and communicate with me because my mind is going in so many directions at once that they end up having three topics thrown at them at once lol I have become a mess of my old self but I have learned so much and grown so much in the last year.:) Ramona looks so pretty in the picture, I have one of izzy in a little dress just home from the hospital with the ng tube, gloves and in the same chair:) I would have had a hard time believing it at that moment that Izzy would be a 20lb one year old and that time would pass this fast! Keep your faith and humor up:) I laughed at myself so many times, ok still do daily! I love reading your posts they are so honest!
Ramona’s shining face makes my day and just fills my heart with God’s joy.
Much love to you crazy-Jane,
Jackie
Wow. She is stunning in this picture! What a beautiful girl she is growing in to. Just like her mom and dad.
Pretty in pink — for certain, she is lovely. Won’t she & little
Miss Jane Cummins wow the neighborhood? And Jane — I’m
happy I saw you, Simon, & Ramona during my Chicago visit.
Your spirit and spirituality are remarkable. I continue to
think and pray for your family — Mary Cavanagh Oh yes,
Molly sez I’m a “stalker” — I prefer your “lurker”
Jane & Andy,
We all have been praying for Ramona. I really hope she stays strong so, we can see her outside this summer. she looks so cute in the picutre.
Ramona is very blessed to have such wonderful,strong and caring people around her.
Your family is in my prayers.
Always, Cassy&Alexis
_Au contraire:_ I’m pretty sure the beef-jerky-and-diet-pop is the reason she’s doing so well!
Ramona looks awesome! I love the whole pink ensemble! Let me know when you start coming in for follow ups so I can see you and ramona. Remember you have my # if you need a litte R&R.
Nicole
Oh my, what a pretty, pretty little girl. Thanks for the picture…It made my whole day!
Love, Val
Ramona looks beautiful!
I came up with one more “crazy” explanation for Drew’s condition. I thought maybe if I had been a better Christian before then God wouldn’t have found it necessary to do this to bring me closer to Him. Of course I know logically that is not true, but for some reason we moms like to blame ourselves.
I’m keeping you in my prayers.
Oh man, that’s one cute bay-bay!! Check out those stems! And them booties!! And as for your list Jane – my question is – if you don’t microwave in tuperware, what do you microwave in? I’ve never figured that out, thus, I am a toxic monster as well.
I just want to kiss on those upper arms. Delicious she is (talking in Yoda speak). Looking pretty in pink. She has mama’s lips! Keep those pictures coming. Maybe you could do “Mona Mae a Day”. This way all the lurkers could get a peak at the rock star each day.
Just to piggy back, I thought for sure that my getting shocked by the t.v. while windexing it caused Maddy’s pelvic junction plumbing drama:)
Ahhh…a mother’s guilt.
maybe I did not feel angry or to blame because I could not get past the fear of it all, how fast she was ill and how things where out of my hands and I had to trust god, doctors and nurses to save her? I haven’t taken the time to wonder why are what if, who really has it, I should be cleaning instead of typing:)I am of course not willing to now I need the energy that would drain from me. You are an amazing mother and are doing a wonderful job. I love your sense of humor!!! and the truth is there always in your post, writen by someone who knows all the feelings that cross our paths.
there is another sweet family with a blog who’s son has digorge and chd http://himmelberger.blogspot.com/