Sat 17 Mar 2007
Munchausen By Weblog
Posted by Jane under Updates
[13] Comments
Two nights ago I had a bad dream. I dreamt Andy had taken up with a lovely, vaguely european girlfriend and had kindly requested, after months of us all living together, that I pack my things and go.
But he wanted to make sure I didn’t take anything he and his new love might want. So, in my dream, I very patiently sat down with her and sorted through all our housewares making comments like, “Oh, Andy loves this, you should keep it for when you guys have parties”.
I do that. Maybe it’s the performer in me, but when I feel stressed and overwhelmed and frightened I go out of my way to be civil and understanding. When we were at the ER last night you’d think I’d be running around, tearing my hair out and screaming, “My baby’s vomitting blood, do something!”. Instead I’m asking the nurse if her stethoscope was a graduation present, asking the doctor where she got her earrings and offering to go find Andy a snack.
And the other thing that seems not normal is that I usually have a pretty good time at the hospital. I mean, yeah, my baby’s spitting up blood. But on the plus side I got to leave the house, traffic was light and there were movies in the waiting room. And then there’s the blog. I love this blog. I’ve never kept a journal and I’m really grateful to have discovered this format, not to mention how much I’m enjoying reading your comments. That’s not normal, right?
There’s a rare and very sexy psychological syndrome called Munchausen by Proxy wherein a parent, usually the mother, induces an illness in her child because she likes the attention. I’m pretty sure you have to make your baby sick to qualify for this, but should I be worried? Is it creepy to be seeing the positive things that have come out of Ramona’s illness?
Anyhoo. Ramona is doing much better. The doctors think that because of her cold, some mucous adhered her NG tube to her throat. Then when Andy changed the tape on her face last night, something back there got jostled and bled into her stomach which made her throw up. Hopefully it’s a one time thing. They did a CBC (complete blood count) and her hemoglobin is fine. We fed her once there to make sure she wouldn’t throw up again and she didn’t. Her sats were very good the whole time, in the high 70’s. They said that although it was nothing too serious, it was a good idea to bring her in, just in case she had lost a lot of blood or something like that.
So we are tired but hanging in there. Simon’s playing with his little friend Maddy today (thanks Dori and Carson) and Andy and I will take turns sleeping. My mom goes home today but Andy’s brother and his wife will be coming for a visit soon to help us, which will be great.
Oh, and when I told Andy about my dream and said, “Just don’t take up with any vaguely european girlfriends, okay?”, he replied, without missing a beat, “Okay, I’ll try and keep it domestic”. Ha ha.
Jane.
How awful. (all of it incl. Euro-gal). Seeing the good in bad things doesn’t make you crazy; it makes you a survivor, and a Christian.
I think it is a normal personality thing, how different people are wired. I remember when I was having multiple miscarriages that there was part of myself that thought, “well, at least I’m getting a lot of attention.” Is that too weird?
Sometimes I wonder if I want a second child just for the attention you get when you are preg-o (I guess I don’t really remember the 9 months of vomiting 4 to 5 times a day). I too aim to please when stressed, but then I get to the point where I am ready to hurt anyone and anything that steps in my way (my husband is usually the lucky winner of my darts) so I think you are very normal, whatever that may be!
After I had Benjamin the labor/delivery nurses commented to me – “you were so nice during labor – I swore like a trucker giving birth”. I guess I said please and thank you and such all the way up to when he was born which they found rather remarkable. Looking back I suppose it is kind of odd to be in that much pain and still be nice to people.
the first day Izzy was dx and admitted to the icu my head played awful games. We slept in the ICU sleep room a tiny room with a bed above the ICU for parents of ICU children to stay close to the hospital. While they where trying to stabilize her we were sent to the sleep room. I had a dream in that night (in what little sleep I got) that steven and I where in the elevator heading down to see if we could see izzy yet and he told me that he was no longer in love with me and wanted me to move out, that it was over between us. In the dream he was his normal careing tone, held me while I cried for izzy and for our life changing. we where not allowed to see izzy yet in my dream and we went back to the sleep room to wait. It was so real I woke in the sleep room him by my side as I did in the I sat there wondering if he had really said those things if izzy was really down in the icu fighting for life and I could not make out what was real at that moment. I think when something so dramatic and critical happens we have trouble processing it. I had to wake him and ask him! I had so many crazy dreams while in the hospital sleep room while izzy was there! steven of course stayed by my side and was my rock, wall, legs during izzy’s surgies and recoveries.
the copmments on the er and feeling like you like the hospital. I felt those thoughts but I think that the thoughts and the sense we feel at the ER after a fright at home and all the medical problems and scares is that that is a safe place, our children are in good hands and have help there so we feel safe, happy in an odd way to be there? those doctors have saved our childs life it is not where we want them to need to be or desire them there but it does give me a feeling of safety when I am worried about her?
Glad Ramona is doing better; sorry to hear about the scare, though. We’re praying for you all! We’ll pray for a peaceful and Ramona growing well week. Hope you rest well today. Love you – Alisa & Dave
Glad to hear all is well…
Still praying for you all!
Trish
Didn’t Eminem’s mom have Munchahausen by Proxy? And look at what a kind, jolly old soul he turned out to be! 😉
Jane,
You make me feel normal. Not that I ever want to be “normal” but you get what I’m saying.
I had a baby who puked blood and it was the scarest thing ever. Turns out
I was the one bleeding (the fun side of breastfeeding). Anyway, glad it you made it through another ER visit and praying you get sleep.
So glad and grateful things are okay – relatively speaking.
And also glad that you found this format and a place to share and vent. Though I want to call all the time and see how you are, hear your voice, I am also aware that your time at home is precious, sleep is needed, among so many other things that make up your family – so this has been a good way to hear you, share with you and let you know Mike and I love and pray for you all.
Much love,
Jackie
I think that the attention feels like getting little missives of love when everything else feels like crap. It’s like eating cookies only you don’t feel gross and guilty afterwards!
My mom has cancer and I have a broken toe…I get the difference btw these two ailments. But, man, I’ve been hungry for the attention this broken toe has given me. I really needed it.
ps. I like to hear that you are dreaming. That means sleep.
pps. And these ARE all missives of love to you guys
Yes, dreams mean you’re sleeping, at least some, so that’s a good thing! I too am glad for this forum to be able to communicate with you guys, since I know your phone time is limited. I know sleep and keeping baby Ramona growing takes every ounce of energy you have, and am praying for strentgth for you all every day.
Love, Val