Sun 17 Jun 2007
Happy Father’s Day
Posted by Jane under Updates
[8] Comments
It’s a bummer to be spending Father’s Day in the PICU. The tubes I had in mind for this day were bratwurst.
I’ve been thinking lately about “feelings”. I think that ordinarily when we describe our feelings, it’s more of an abstract appraisal of our thoughts than it is a description of anything we really feel. Since that fateful day in February when we discovered Ramona’s heart condition I’ve noticed that my feelings are anything but abstract. They are physical. When I am angry I don’t simply think, “That makes me angry”. I can feel the rage vibrating, trying to fly out of my arms and legs as it builds up its charge in my core. To discharge it, I have to throw something, say something, do something. When I am sad, the despair screws down like a vice on my chest, the ache radiating into my gut, my neck, and then my mind until I’m immobilized with grief.
Along this line, a few nights ago Andy remarked to me that although this time has been the hardest thing he has ever faced, it has allowed him to experience life more deeply, feel things he’s never felt before. “And that’s beautiful”, he concluded.
Over the years that I’ve known him, Andy has grown so much. He doesn’t just tolerate the ups and downs of life, he mines them for the wisdom they have to offer and acknowledges the beauty of the whole range of experiences God gives us. What better lesson could a father teach his children? That life is beautiful. That God is good. That difficult times are an opportunity to feel deeply and draw closer to God.
I think I’m too tired this morning to properly express the gratitude I feel to have met and married such a wonderful man. He is a good father. Providing for us and always having something left over at the end of the day for play and fun. Many of you probably haven’t heard Ramona laugh. That’s because she’ll only do it for Andy. It’s a nasally little “heh-HENH”, she sounds like Beavis, but I would seriously pay about $500 to able to get her to do it for me every once in a while. And Simon adores him. He studies his every move. Howls with laughter when Papa tickles him. Gladly sits still to watch him play the drums.
Thanks to all you dads out there who are doing your best and giving your all for your families every day. And to my many friends who are still waiting to see their husbands become fathers, I’m thinking about you today too. And those who have lost their fathers.
Ramona may be extubated today. She is still febrile (feverish) and they are still waiting for the cultures to come back. Please pray that she will continue to amaze and that her fever will be brief. Here’s a pic of all of us the day before her surgery. You know I must love Andy to post this picture, I look strangely bloated. And shiny.
Love, Jane.
jane this is beautiful. of course it helps when there is awesome fatherly material to gush about so eloquently. happy father’s day, andy! and know we are thinking of you all today. . .p.s. i know a stucco garage wall perfect for throwing bottles against when you’re feeling the need to discharge some rage. peace-sep
Happy fathers day Andy! I knew you were a cool dad when you got iPods for your kids.
Jane, it was great spending time with you yesterday. Can’t wait to see Ramona again when she’s fully awake and without the respirator.
Have a great father’s day.
Karen
Thanks Jane for your amazing reflections on this Father’s Day. Andy, you are such a gift to Jane, to Ramona, to Simon, praise God for your loving kindness, playfulness w the kids,your calm gentle spirit, your sense of humor that the whole family adores, your honesty, your deepening appreciation for all that life hands us. The way you bring the love of Christ to life in your family. Happy Fathers Day. I pray for Ramona Mae’s fever, that it would disappear quickly. That the doctors would know what to do next. Beautiful photo.
Praise God for your entry today, Jane, thanks for sharing the deepest part of your heart– So moving and beautiful. My love to you all, Lisa
Happy Father’s Day, Andy! You are a blessings to all of us as we get a glimpse of you parenting these two amazing children.
Happy Father’s Day Andrew D. You rock as a husband, daddy and a dear friend.
Love,
The Bonecks
Oh, and that whole music thang you’re really good at too. Enjoy your special day. You deserve many hugs and kisses today.
but your glasses look really cute!
your gratitute in the midst of all this is inspiring Jane.
lots of love,
m
What a beatifuly reflection Jane. Happy Father’s Day Andy. You are an amazing father, and your two children are blessed to have you as a dad. And Jane, I smiled when I saw the picture that you posted of all of you that you let me take the day before the surgery. I was SO nervous taking a picture of a photagrapher! But you all look absolutely beautiful in the picture. It was great spending time with you all that day, and I feel so honored to share this journey with all of you. I can’t wait until I can come again to see sweet little Ramona as she begines to feel better. And I love Simon…what a joy! You’re in my prayers tonite my friends.
Love, Val
Thanks for the updates on both Ramona and on your personal feelings Jane. You’re human is the only validation I can offer today. You have a lot on your plate and given all that I think you handle it quite well.
Happy Father’s day to Andy. The last time I was at your house I witnessed the kids reaction to when their Papa comes home. The minute Ramona saw him, her whole face lit up and she smiled. Simon looked like he wanted to jump out of the high chair in his arms. It was beautiful to see that first hand. But Jane, don’t worry Daddy’s seem to have that reaction with their kids. Its like they save something special just for Daddy. On the other hand, the minute any of my kids need comforting…its Mommy’s world! Mommy can kiss boo-boo’s and wipe tears like no one else can.
Judy