Mon 23 Jul 2007
The Best News
Posted by Jane under Updates
[34] Comments
Ramona saw the neurosurgeon today. He doesn’t usually see patients before they have their MRI’s so his first question was “What are we doing here today?”. I told him about the geneticist’s concern about her dimple and how the MRI had escalated from sedation to general anesthesia. I told him I wanted someone expert to take a look before we put her through that. He said “Well, let’s take a look”.
I peeled back the diaper so he could get a look at the offending area and the first thing he said was “Good call, Mom”. He said that the dimple did not worry him because of it’s location in the natal crease (or as I indelicately called it, the butt crack). If it would make us feel better, he said he would order an MRI the next time she was under and in radiology, like for an angio CT.
This is great news and exactly what I was hoping for. I feel so glad that we didn’t just cart her off for a test she doesn’t seem to urgently need. I am also relieved that the doctor sees no serious or overt signs of a neurological problem. What a relief. Now we can get back to the G tube issue and decide what we’d like to do there.
On a more personal note, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about being “perfect”. I’ve been too anxious about Ramona’s spine to really parse it out, but I think my little brain is working on accepting that things just aren’t perfect, and can’t be. Anybody else struggle with this? Here’s a shot of Mona looking at her new favorite book.
It’s a good day here, Jane.
That is terrific news! Way to trust yourself. As for the being perfect stuff, I think we all struggle with accepting that daily.
Take care,
Samantha
Dear Jane,
Happy am I for you & your dear ones!!
You said it so well yourself when you said that to not accept & love Ramona just she is is to do her a disservice. I aspire to be like you in that regard, & others:)
You & Andy are doing a great job! Never forget it!
“Happy am I for you & your dear ones!!”
Yoda? What did you do with my mom?
Yay! I’m so glad for this good news. Yay, yay, yay!
Yeah, I keep trying to convince myself that perfect = boring.
Lucy loves that book too! Do you have the “animals” one? We read that and try to make lots of animal sounds (although I always have trouble knowing what sound a “macaw” makes).
love,
ann
what great news! i’ve been following ramona’s progress (and simon’s, too, for that matter) and am so pleased to read this latest post. i love the pics and stories.
and, as someone who is a mere month and a half into married life, the reality that things are not perfect has made itself abundantly clear! but because we love these people, and because they love us, and because we can’t imagine life without them, it is all so very worth it.
my prayers are with you all.
Oh, I am so happy to hear this news! I was just telling someone today that I had a feeling this dimple was not going to be a big deal — nothing super-spiritual or based on anything, just a “feeling”.
I wish I could offer some insight on the need for perfection or the appearance of perfection. I know that I used to need it, have given it up in many, many areas, and yet still cling to it in some other key areas. Given up on hair and make-up and a clean house. Given up on faking the outward appearance of a perfect marriage (and frankly suspicious of anyone who seems to have a perfect marriage!) I have most recently given up any illusion that I am a pefect driver or parallel parker – LOL!
Not given up being right and smart and seeming like I’m organized and “together”. Not given up the dream of being a perfect mom and beating myself daily when I fall short on that one. Sometimes the knowledge that I am doing my best carries me, but a lot of times I know that I am not doing my best or that my best isn’t quite good enough and that any imperfection in my children is a failing of mine.
I know that what I want for myself, and for you too, is to strive to do God’s will and to do the work in my own life that will bring me closer to being the woman God created me to be, for His glory, not mine. I also strive to accept that it may not look like perfect as I define it.
Wonderful news!
You’re making a lot of good calls, mamaJane.
I have a sign in my office that reads “We are all imperfect” Every so often a client will notice it and appreciate the sentiment. It is our lumps and bumps and tumbles that make us loveable and memorable and relateable.
All that being said, I think we all struggle with some part of our life not measuring up to how we’d envisioned it.
JANE,
I AM VERY HAPPY TO HEAR THE NEWS ON RAMONA!
YOU SHOULD ALWAYS GET A SECOND OPINION. RAMONA HAS GONE THRU ENOUGH ALREADY!!!SHE IS SO LUCKY TO HAVE A STRONG SET OF PARENTS LIKE ANDY & U!
LIFE MAY NOT LOOK/SEEM PERFECT, BUT TO ME CHILDREN OUR PERFECT NO MATTER WHAT!!!
WE WILL KEEP RAMONA IN OUR PRAYERS.
AMY
Yay!
One thing you can cross off your “things to worry about” list!
Karen
jane. i don’t think perfect is tangible. i believe in it as a concept (a goal, a destination, etc.), but let’s suppose we knew it, we had it, we owned it. then what? what do we strive for? or dream of, or about? the only thing i think is probably perfect is that rare pair of jeans that fits SO RIGHT that you just need to buy two pairs. but other than that, when i think of perfect, i think of that stepford children scene: “i’m a lucky girl. i’m a lucky girl. i’m a lucky girl . . .” and i get creeped out. ick. and then i think back to something more lovely when you quoted andy saying way back in the beginning days of ramonamae.com where i believe you overheard him say to ramona, “we’re all missing something” – i think that rings so true, that none of us our perfect, and that is beautiful (if not sometimes scary). congratulations on the good news. . . with peace. sep
What great news! I think about you often and I am always thinking about Ramona. What a beautiful little miracle you have.
Love,
Kelly (and Jack)
yeah wonderful news!! good job mom!!
Whoo hooo! Jane there have been so many times that your mother’s intuition has been so on the money and saved Ramona from all kinds of things. You are so in tune with your kids. What a rock star Mom you are. God has clearly gifted you in this way.
On Perfection… Oye. I too strugle with wanting what is perfectly normal and “perfect” for my kids. I have to really fight my initial reaction which is, “What did I do or not do that made you not perfect?” Instead I try to lay it down and know that God is perfect and everything else isn’t. His plan is but what I get to know and understand of it isn’t complete so it might not feel perfect to me.
Lastly, Andy and the yoda comment cracked me up.
Love you all
Jen
Dear Jane,
Tony and I struggle with the word “perfect” all the time. I think that I have just “grieved” for what is not perfect with Grace and tried to accept what a gift God had given to us. I used to look at other family’s and dreamed of what it would be like if Grace was “perfect” and then I realized that I have the most perfect creature that God wanted us to have. She has taught us more about life and living and how fragile life is everyday. I hope to be able to meet you and your family someday. I pray for Ramona (and you all) everyday. I would look on Gracie’s website when she was sick and see names of people who I had never met before and then they became friends because they were praying for our baby. Your little Ramona (and Simon) are God’s greatest gifts which you know. Even when it gets hard and challenging (which is does often) remember that God has a perfect plan even when we can’t understand it!
Jenni Belmonte
Jane & Andy, you are Ramona’s best advocates! We’re glad to hear today’s news. Blessings & love…
Good job Jane! You did the right thing! And what a relief! So glad that you had good news today.
And just so you know, I think you are the “perfect” mom for Simon and Ramona.
YEAH!!! What great news!! Ramona you are such a big girl…miss you tons love!!
Desty
That is awesome news!!! Way to trust your gut!!
Heather
What wonderful news! Good job following your instincts…once again!!!
Ramona is so adorable in this picture! I love the look on her face as she is peeking up from the book!
Love,
Angie
Andy and Jane..
I am praising God today. Glad to see your sense of humor Andy..keep loving and laughing.
Your Aunt Ro
Oh, Jane, you’re doing such a great job making the most of the medical system. I think we always have to tell ourselves that no one opinion is the final truth, or the best option. Shannon always says that doctors are like car mechanics – messing around trying one thing and another until they find what works. I think that’s true. And ultimately, you know Ramona best and you’ve got to keep your instincts as the primary guide.
Jane
That is wonderful news. I hope you had a rare moment of relaxation and gave yourself a big pat on the back for being persistent in knowing what you needed.
Shannon
Sure is the best news I’ve heard in a while. Thank you O Lord for new mercies every morning. I don’t know you Kriss, but I love the doctors like car mechanics metaphor – it’s “perfect.” Speaking of which, Amen sister Jen to the overarching truth of the perfection of God and His plan, everthing else isn’t. Here is a tiny anecdote into the window of my struggle with “perfection” – years ago, when my brother-in-law and sister would come for dinner, when I was out of the room, he would move something I had placed on the coffee table just a smidge. I would walk back in and notice that he had moved it. Great laughter always ensued. Do I still do that? Good question.
Much love to you Jane, Andy, Simon and Ramona Mae.
Jane,
I’m so glad for this news. You are a wonderful and wise mother and I am glad for the wisdom you offer in my life.
You said things just can’t be perfect. I couldn’t agree more. The truth is that God did not design us for this fallen world, and as long as we are here, we will constantly ache and long for something more. Knowing that God has something so much more perfect in store for me helps me to sometimes accept the constant reminder of imperfections around me and in me. Perhaps this sounds morbid but it actually helps me to let go of needing perfection in my life. I say this knowing that I’ve never had to deal with the intense heartbreak you are dealing with, but I believe that it’s true for you too, and for Ramona. God made her, and you, for something spectacular and beautiful that will not be found here. Meanwhile I believe that God gives us little tastes of what His perfect kingdom will be like–the smile on Ramona’s face, her cuddles, and a zillion other things. I think your questions and struggle with perfection touch the deepest places in all of us–our intense desire for what God has in store for us.
I love you lots and can’t wait to see you and Ramona in September!!!!!
Aunt Bekah
Wahoo! I’m glad Dr. Alden was his usual, reassuring, awesome self! And, remember, we’re all perfect–perfectly imperfect.
Nicolle
I am so thankful for this good news!!! I have been wanting to post a little story about our Gwendolyn but did not want to make light of what could be difficult for you.
Anyway when we were in the hospital the pediatricians came in and told me that they were “amazed that Gwenna looked so good and was so healthy considering my advanced maternal age.” Oh but that is not all,no one morning the head pediatric resident came in followed by 5 students and they proceeded to talk about the ridge on Gwenna’s head in hushed tones…the resident then told me that there was nothing wrong with her but they had just been at a conference about this very thing…I was a bit unnerved because at our twenty week ultrasound the radiologist told us that 50% of all ultra sounds are inacurate and non conclusive. Sometimes I truly believe that Satan is doing everything to rob our joy! I mean you had just come back from a lovely vacation…loved the pics by the way. I, too, agree with Kriss about the mechanic thing. The other thing that I have found with some drs. is that they look for things wrong in their speciality area and sometimes forget the big picture.
We truly rejoice over the great news that the dr. gave and way to go asking for a second opinion.
I can see Andy in this picture of Ramona.
Blessings to you all.
Nicole
What great news! And good for you listening to those mommy instincts. As far as being perfect. Well, I’m right there with you Jane. There are so many areas of my life where I’m trying desperately to learn that I won’t see perfection this side of heaven. And Jen, I loved what you said about God’s plan being perfect even though I don’t always get it. Jane, thanks for putting your thoughts and struggles out there once again and helping me flesh important things like this out in my life as well.
Good call, mom! Absolutely…you rock!!
As for the “perfect” thing, {yawn} oh, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, let me tell ya…that one time when I was perfect it was the longest 4 seconds of my LIFE! bahahahahaw….
I do get you on the perfect thing, seriously…maybe it’s not perfection that we strive for though, maybe it’s just contentment…or something…and that DOES come…in 4 second intervals…
Good call Mom! He summed it up quite perfectly! and speaking of perfect – i’ve been thinking a lot about that lately too. i guess with being a new mom and working full time i’m realizing that trying to be perfect is a sure way to drive myself crazy. so i’m working on re-examining my priorities – letting go of certain aspects and giving up control of others, etc. Mostly i’m trying to follow my gut when it comes to motherhood and tune out the subconscious brain chatter (as i call it) that is always telling me what i should be doing better ….. easier said than done!
Hi Jane,
I am grateful that you are sharing Ramona’s life experience and your family’s story. I have been reading along from a distance but thought that I might respond to this last entry. As you know my family history, with the loss of my mom at age 20, life as a young adult seemed very far from “perfect” and then seemed to get even more “imperfect” when my dad died a few years ago. I struggled with feeling sorry for myself, pissed off, controlling, controlled, seeking approval, missing love, whatever makes one feel anxiety ridden and outcast really… Honestly, it wasn’t until I, through the help of others sharing their life experience, was able to accept my own situation… not that I feel awesome all the time, but just accept that my life is it’s own version of perfect. I believe that what is important is how you define the word. Personally, I prefer to define perfection as open-minded love, diversity, growth, awareness… and other attributes I admire that may come through challenge, humor, spiritual gifts or whatever you like. I’ll never fit into someone else’s rigid definition of perfect, nor would I ever want to. Just like some may not comprehend my world, perfect as it is. It’s really hard. You are of the lucky ones that are blessed with gettin’ down and dirty in the human experience. Your words are insightful to me and I am honored to have ever met you.
Thank you,
The Keenans
Dearest Deitrichs:
Hello, I hope that this note finds you well!
I’m glad to read the good news.
I will continue to pray for more of it.
I also wanted to wish Ramona a HAPPY MONTHSARY (MONTHIVERSARY? I forget)! It’s already the 26th here in Manila, Philippines. Wishing you all a great day in the warm company and friends, too!
Lastly, on perfection…It’s a constant personal struggle of mine to have everything run like clockwork in my life. However, God will always throw something my way to give me a different perspective on things or to help me take stock of what I value vs. what really is of value. I guess you could really call these detours ‘divine intervention’
May that have some take-home value for you.
Keep smiling and God bless!
Hi Jane,
I’m not up on my reading lately. First I want to say that I’m so happy that your mommy alarm went off and you avoided an unnecessary procedure. I think we all strive to be perfect. It just doesn’t exist. But its a nice thought isn’t it? If we could all have households like Mrs. Cleaver or even Mrs. Huxtible for those working moms.
Let me share with you my recent epiphany….I’m having surgery next week. Nothing too serious but it is surgery nontheless and yesterday I was at my doctor’s office getting all the pre-surgery stuff done and getting her to clear me for the surgery and she asked me the funniest question. After going through all the typical medical questions that one expects she asked me and how are you with all this? Are YOU ok? I honestly didn’t know how to respond. I was like ME? Ahhhh….I’m fine, just want it over with and to feel like myself again.
On the ride home I was like wow, I have been so manic lately getting stuff done at work and getting ready for our big office move, getting Gabriel’s school uniforms and supplies, making time to play with Alex, cooking, cleaning and making arrangements for the boys to be dropped off at day camp and daycare the day of my surgery, making back up plans in case God forbid that something goes wrong and instead of coming home I get a few days hospital admission that I never stopped to think about how I felt about this surgery. For me it was just something on my calendar that needed to get done. Even on days that I’m not feeling well, I’m more interested in making dinner for friends and baking a cake for my kids than sitting down and contemplating my physical ailments. I still don’t have an answer to that question. It seriously and sadly is just something on my checklist of things to do. Do the laundry, have surgery, get groceries etc…
So, I can TOTALLY relate. Each household is different but none of us are perfect, although we like to try to make it that way. I wake up each morning making a mental check list of things to do throughout the day so that I can make the most of my time with my family and friends having fun. For me its the quality of life that’s most important.
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