Thu 13 Dec 2007
In Dreams
Posted by Jane under Updates
[18] Comments
A blog I follow linked to a blog she follows who shared this set of whacked-out, insomia-induced dreams. I can identify with the vibe of these reveries as I’ve had a few doosies myself from time to time…
Like the one where I’m suppposed to be photographing a wedding, but I have to take a canoe to get there. And I keep dropping the film overboard so I’m late. And my assistant is supposed to be covering for me but instead is in the church balcony eating ice cream, naked. Or I’m supposed to be playing an orchestra concert but my feet mysteriously weigh eight hundred pounds a piece so I’m late. And when I arrive I find my bass is broken in half. And instead of my concert black I’m wearing a metallic leotard.
But I also have another kind of recurring dream, maybe you guys do too. It’s the dream where you discover the extra room in your house that is totally awesome. Sometimes in dreams I find that outside of my basement window is a massive abandoned green house populated by the most beautiful trees and birds. Or a door I never noticed at the back of a closet leads to a wing of our house we didn’t know existed. And it has a hot tub.
There’s an essay out there about having a child with special needs called “Welcome to Holland”. Here’s the premise: If you were planning on going to Italy for your honeymoon and for some reason got dropped off in Holland instead you would be initially disappointed because you had packed all the wrong stuff and were expecting pizza and gondolas. But eventually you would figure out that Holland is also cool and has wooden shoes. I think this is a charming story and a good way to describe the bewilderment and overwhelm that comes along with discovering that parenting your child is going to be different than you thought. But here’s my dilema, “What if I don’t want to go to Holland, even after I’ve checked it out and discovered how cool it is? What if I still just really have my heart set on Italy?”
But this dream thing really has me thinking. The feeling of wonder, of sacredness and mystery that I feel as I pass into the secret places in my dreams is so wonderful. It brings to mind John 14:2, “In my Father’s house there are many mansions”. Maybe this is a better analogy for the experience of having Ramona in our lives. Of course it’s scary. Of course we worry. But our experience with Ramona is also a portal that leads to places in our hearts we didn’t know were there. Mysterious and fearsome places. Sacred places. And we get that now, here on earth. Our love for Ramona and what her illness brings to our family is really a bit of the Kingdom of God.
Hope that makes some sense, it’s giving me some peace and comfort today. Please pray for Ramona next week. She has a study to evaluate how she’s doing with her swallowing. It will let us know how we should proceed with her speech therapy and whether or not we should continue to expect her to go to oral feeding only or we need to reconsider the G tube. Here’s our little slice of heaven in the play tent that Grammie sent. She’s taking a breather after crawling straight through.
Love, Jane.
Jane that was beautiful. I will be praying.
Love
Jen
Hey Jane
That “welcome to Holland” story has always bugged me too. There was a season in which I was sent it by a number of people and each time I just wrinkled my nose and felt irritated. This is nothing against Holland because I really like Holland but the whole thing about having a child with a CHD is really not just about changing travel plans and getting clogs instead of high heels. Its much more fundamental – about not getting what we want and our child suffering.
The story doesn’t say that one group gets to go to Italy and eat cake and the other goes to Holland and has their child tortured. Oh, but that’s okay… you get used to pain.
Sorry, I am ranting. You touched a nerve. Thank you.
Your dreams of secret rooms and places of beauty are beautiful in themselves. I am dreamless of late. I envy you your dreams
Hey Shannon!
Just to clarify, the Holland thing doesn’t really “bug” me. I think it’s clever. It does help with some things. Like “So life’s not what you thought, boo-hoo.” It just doesn’t really resolve for me the grief and dissapointment I feel over Ramona’s illness.
Nice to hear from you, I’m checking on Wren every day, he looks so good…
Jane.
Yeah, he does look good. Right now he is crying and complaining about naptime and in a moment (if he gets to sleep) the chimney sweep will come and wake him with loud vacuuming.
It doesn’t bug me that people sent it to me. I see the intention and the message that we can adjust our perspective to appreciate this new experience. That kids are all different and we can change and grow BUT it does bug me still 😉
It bugs me because sometimes I don’t want to make the best of things. I just like to be mad and disappointed and indignant.
‘cept today I feel lucky that he has made it to being ONE and is doing well. Next week is our first cardiology in a while so neurosis will set in. Till then… keep posting (and dreaming)
Well, the Holland story is pretty cool, though if I had a child in pain it would probably make me want to throw the computer through the window. What I really like is YOUR story, Jane, about the many mansions. That story, like all of Jesus’ stories, can mean so many things to different people. I love the joyful acceptance in yours, the willingness to live fully in the sacred places, which, scary and mysterious as they may be, are full of God.
Amen Jane and Amen Kriss!!
Way to go Ramona on crawling through that tunnel!
Hey! Where did she get those awesome pants?! She looks great Jane. Your post was beautiful and, I guess in a weird sort of twisted way, I’m envious of the taste of the Kingdom you get, the sacred places you get to discover. I love you and miss you.
Bekah
Thank you Jane. Will pray. (BTW, I was really jealous that Dave got to see Andy today, and I didn’t get to see you!)
Jane:
I have that dream all the time! It’s usually an apartment where I used to live and I go back and visit and I show the people who live there now how cool this other room is, which they totally didn’t even know was there. Or it’s the house where my grandparents lived when I was a child (which is dinky IRL BTW) and there’s this great room in the basement, full of wonders, and I’m sad because we’re getting ready to put the house on the market.
I know I’ve been out of touch. I just want to know that I still visit the site regularly and Ramona and Team Deitrich are often in my prayers.
Much affection,
Dina
Jane,
Thanks for such a beautiful post. You are always in my prayers. Love you.
Val
Hey Ramona, you are looking extra sweet today.
I really like that look in your eyes…how ’bout a little smile for Papa!
I love you!
Hi Jane,
Beautiful post and beautiful pic of Ramona.
Angie
she looks so big! I hope that her swallow study shows improvement and brings good news. We will keep you in our thoughts for a good swallow study. I guess I am indifferent to the Holland story the poem about what it means to be a parent of a chd child did touch many cords though and I related to that one more, I think because it expresses the fears pain and desperate hope that we as heart parents know and it seams that sometimes we are in a totally different world on days. I hope that you continue to find ways to help you your family and friends express your thoughts and feelings is such lovely ways. I can relate to the crazy dreams. I had sooo many in the hospital with Izzy. Our heads can play games on us during stressful times. wyndi
CORRECTION!
I was just informed at a party by the author of the blog I follow that I completely misunderstood the original post to which I referred above. I guess they weren’t dreams at all. My apologies. I guess I need to work on my reading comprehension. Sorry to offend, Joy.
Mmmm – good dream Jane. Based on my one Jungian course in college, I’d like to break it down if I could. The hidden rooms in your house? That you have resources within you that you didn’t know you had? Huh? What do you think? That will be 5 cents.
We’ll be praying for Mona Mae with her evaluation. Best wishes to you all – have fun in the snow!
Molly
Jane,
What a wonderful message. You always teach me something when I read your blog. That look on Ramona’s face.. she “aint” going anywhere Jane. Keep believing. She looks alittle like Papa Wayne.
Love and hugs
Blessed Christmas
Aunt Ro
I’ve heard that Holland story too and my take on it was always not just that you had to discover what there was to love about Holland (i.e. whatever unexpected or shitty situation you’re in) but that you have to accept that you don’t have a choice in the matter – somebody else planned the trip and nobody ever promised Italy.
But here you are in Holland and there are many blessings to getting to take a trip at all.
lots of love
Hi,
I went to high school with Andy, and was just sent this link by a mutual friend. Anyway, just wanted you to know that we will be praying for your whole family. Also, both Ramona and Simon are beautiful!