Mon 10 Mar 2008
All Hail Pa!
Posted by Jane under Updates
[14] Comments
Although it doesn’t show up in many photos, Ramona has a real fondness for her pacifier, her “pa”. We put a minimum of three in bed with her at night and I’ve seen her hold as many as six at once (that’s one in the mouth, two in one hand and three in the other). She doesn’t have it all the time and it doesn’t seem to be affecting her speech development, but I do wonder when she’ll be ready to give it up.
My mom has joked that Ramona may start a movement where world peace is achieved by everyone having a pa that makes them really think before they speak. And when you do speak you would, just like Ramona, begin every sentence with “Pahhhh!”. As in, “I bring you peace and love!”. It would be a fabulous cult. Adults in diaper-like loin cloths, eating only pureed foods and spending most of their time sitting on the floor trying to put a square block into a round hole (a symbol of the futility of our fallen world).
Although I seem to never forget the knuckle-headed things people have said to me over this past year or so, I’ve just recently remembered a conversation I had many years ago with a friend I’ve lost touch with. We were both newly married and the subject of whether or not we wanted children came up. She expressed an interest in adoption. I think I said something like, “What? You and Mike are so like totally smart. You should have your own child, it’s like your duty to pass on your genes!”. Man, oh man. Aside from confirming my eligibilty for membership in the Aryan Nation, I’m not sure what this comment was good for. No wonder she “lost touch” with me.
And lately I’ve been finding myself just saying whatever comes into my head. If I’m angry I say something angry. If I’m feeling judgmental, I say something judgmental. It’s affecting the way Andy and I get along and I don’t think I’m setting a good example for our kids. So I’ve decided I need to be more “Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger”. For the past few days I’ve been consciously reviewing what I’m about to say in head before speaking. I find I mostly choose not to say anything, but sometimes I rephrase a little bit, remind myself that I love the person I’m talking to and then proceed.
It’s amazingly difficult. I was at the art store yesterday trying to get something framed and became so frustrated with waiting in line and the vagaries of framing pricing that I almost unintentionally performed my amazing Exploding Head trick, which I usually save for friends and family. I realized I was losing it and made a quick exit, framing undone.
So maybe my mom’s right. Maybe I need a pa. Maybe I need to start every sentence with an affirmation. Like, “I bring you peace and love, now tell me how much this frame is before I use that miter’s clamp in a way you will not enjoy”. Baby steps.
Ramona gets her helmet off tomorrow. I will post pics replete with girly hair bows as soon as possible. Here’s a pic of Our Benevolent Leader with her many pa’s…
Love, Jane.
Ella loves her pacifier as well. She calls it “ba-ba”, don’t ask me why. She too gets a bunch of them in the crib at night and likes to carry them around the house – like having one in mouth and one in hand adds extra security. I worried about it for a while, then counted her words and realized her speech was developing just fine so she can keep her “ba-ba”. She likes the green soothies ones – just like Ramona!
I want a pa! Maybe I wouldn’t have to spend as much money on antidepressants.
You’re funny.
Thanks for the giggle.
We have tried to get Elijah to find some sort of pa. He hasn’t taken to anything. I think everyone needs a pa of some sort.
maybe if I had one I’d stop eating so many cookies?
Nah….
I love your idea about the pa! Too cute. I wish my Micah would take a pa…I too need one myself…my angry words and bad behavior is spilling out way too much…how sad would it be for a 32 year old woman to walk around with her paci? I may just try it out! Thanks for the idea! I can’t wait to see Ramona’s hair in a bow…although she has looked quite adorable with her helmet.
Ramona’s so gorgeous! And Simon – loved his last picture! I enjoyed reading your post today (I always do in different ways). Blessings on quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. That’s a good one for all of us.
i was a fairly well-practiced thumb sucker myself. but for future reference . . . back in the day, my lil’ cousin ali had racked up a few dozen “pacis” by the tender age of 3. unsuccessful at getting her to part with them, her folks took her to the hospital to “donate” them to children (with a wink and a nod to the nurse who accepted them graciously). worked like a charm. looking forward to more pics and updates. sep
My kids both loved their pacis. Ava still has hers, but the time is coming for her to give it up. I made Drew get rid of his right before his 2nd birthday. It was his New Year’s Resolution.
Ramona looks adorable clutching all her pas. Good luck with thinking before speaking, we should all try to be more disciplined about that. I’m looking forward to new pics!
Jane,
Sorry for my obsession with Ramona’s clothes but can Phare have that one too!!!???
She is the most stylish baby ever. Anytime Phare is wearing anything of hers people never fail to comment, and of course I go on and on about her cousin Ramona and her Auntie Jane!
I love your honesty in this post. I think the world would simply be a better place if everyone was willing to talk as openly as you are.
Seeing Ramona’s pa brought back sweet memories of the few nights I spent with her after her surgery. I remember getting the pas all in place around the room so that when she woke up I wouldn’t have to go looking! I can’t wait to see her again!
I remember running out in the middle of the night to buy more “goos” at the Jewel because someone was waking up and we couldn’t find any in the dark! They were many times the only thing that gave us a little peace on car trips.
As for being “Slow to speak”: I got that scripture tattooed on my wrist when I was 30 for many of the same reasons you list for using a pa. It didn’t really work as the reminder I wanted it to be, but it did start a lot of good conversations at bars and check-out counters!
Was it in Little Women where the dad makes the mom count to ten when she starts to get angry? One advantage of a patriarchical society…
I think that one of the reasons the “slow to speak” process can be difficult is that our need to express our thoughts/feelings often overrides our awareness of the other person’s perspective.
We are self-centered beings which is important for our very survival, but often doesn’t bode well for our relationships and has to be consciously overcome.
I have found that one of the best remedies for curbing the quick to speak mishaps is to name the emotion instead of ‘acting’ it out.
People are often far less offended when I say, “I’m feeling crabby,” then when I sneer at them and sigh heavily with utter contempt at their general ineptitude at life…can’t they see that I’m WAITING?!?
good luck.
Hi Jane!
I remember hearing one directive more than any other from my mother & that was “If you can’t say anyhting nice, don’t say anything at all”. What does that tell you about me & my mouth? (Don’t answer that!)
Through the years I have had to own up to my sassy side. Part of me likes to have the last word or at least compete for it. But speaking “the truth in love” is a better way to go, even if the truth is just what I know at the moment. I like the check you give yourself & that is to remember the love you have for the other person as well as the trust he or she has in you.
Holding you & yours close, always!
Andy almost burned our apartment down on the first night home from the hospital with Alex and Joseph because he fell asleep while boiling the Nuks. I woke up to the smell of burned rubber and chilly breezes all over the house because of the fans.
Alex and Joseph were the only Wetzels to have Nuks. We have a picture of Alex with three in his mouth….we inadvertently lost them (truly). But when Andy found them in his jacket pocket a day or two later…they had already been given up!
Your post reminded me of a post our friend Mrs. Metaphor posted…about choosing the good during Lent. If only I could be quick to listen and slow to speak more often.
I continue to enjoy your posts and rejoice in the ways God is working in your family.
Alex gave up his pacifier when he was about 5 or 6 months old and replaced it with his thumb. I would much rather have a PA. You can wean off a PA or bo-bo like us Latinos call it, but how do you get your child to get rid of his thumb? When you find this answer please share….