Sun 11 May 2008
Outtakes
Posted by Jane under Updates
[17] Comments
Anyone else out there suffer from blog envy? You know, you log in to your friend/relative’s blog only to discover that they are living a perfect life with perfect thighs and perfect hair and fabulous vacations. And you think, “I need to get it together”. I’ve been thinking lately about what I choose to present on this blog and what tends to get edited out. So in the interest of full disclosure, here are some of our outtakes…
Let’s start with the pictures. Around Easter, I posted this little gem of the easter eggs we made together.
As you can see, things are not as Martha around here as my blog would have you think.
What usually makes it on to the blog are those rare moments of clarity when things make sense and my questions seem clear. Less likely to appear here are moments when things seem so hopeless and confusing, or I’m just too tired to care. Like the other night when I said to Andy, “I’m sorry I fell asleep while we were fighting.” And he said, “Yeah, me too.”
Someone came to me concerned a few months ago that I wasn’t talking about my feelings enough, that I was stuck in my grief. I said I thought I was doing a lot of processing on this blog. They replied, “Yeah, but the blog paints a pretty rosy picture.” At the time I was very hurt because the thoughts and feelings I post here are the most personal, the most genuine. They’re the things I could never say face to face without bursting into tears. For me, this is more than a carepage. It’s a confessional, it’s a counselor, it’s a punching bag.
But my friend is right that it’s not the whole truth or the whole picture. Is that bad? I’ve been thinking lately that we’re all a lot of different people. That even though the person I am here is not the whole story, it is a part of who I am. There is the worrier in me, there is the fixer. There is anger. But when I come here to write to you, I am as close to the person God made me to be as I ever am. Crying out to Him, making peace, seeking wise counsel. And if that’s “rosy”, I’m okay with that.
Which brings me to Mother’s Day. The breakfasts in bed and the corsages paint a pretty rosy picture so it’s hard not to be cynical and feel that it doesn’t represent what mothering is really like. But I’ve decided to accept it as one beautiful part of the big picture of being a family. In a perfect world, we would all honor each other every day, tend to each other’s needs, meet each other’s expectations. But parts of us are tired, parts of us are angry, parts of us are apathetic.
So today I’m praying a prayer of thanks. Thanks for the opportunity to sit down with my thoughts. Thanks for my beautiful children and a husband who loves me. Thanks for a mother, step-mother and mother-in-law who love and support me no matter what. I’m also praying a prayer of petition. For those who deeply desire children and do not yet, or never will, have them. For those who have lost their mothers. For those who have lost their precious children.
Thinking of you and yours today with love, Jane.
Here are few shots of our little treasures, I won’t shock you with the outtakes…
Out-takes, in-takes, shmout-takes, shmin-takes. You keep doing what you’re doing Jane, I’m just happy/honored/admiring that you shared.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Love,
Molly
This is an awesome post. This line is as powerful a thing as you’ve said these 15 months (among many powerful things): “But when I come here to write to you, I am as close to the person God made me to be as I ever am. Crying out to Him, making peace, seeking wise counsel. And if that’s ‘rosy,’ I’m okay with that.” Thanks for thinking this through for us.
Hey, I love that shot of Simon in the buff. I am wondering…was that photo taken first thing in the morning or last thing at night on the way to bed, or was there bedlam in the middle of the day? WAIT! don’t tell me; I want to keep the thought I have intact.
The kids are precious and beautiful. AND, I appreciate your sense of humor.
What cutie pie pics…
Happy Mother’s Day!!!
I love the “out take” pics…keep them coming!!
Kathy
Happy Mother’s Day Sweetie!
All our lives are filled with major out-takes we choose to hide. No matter what you decide to keep to yourself, there is no denying that you are an amazing mother with two wonderful children.
love, Melissa
Great post, and GREAT outtake!
Jane,
This made me laugh out loud!
Your blog has never appeared Martha to me, and perhaps this is the only example bordering on that. I remember seeing the picture of your eggs and feeling like a complete failure! First of all, I would never think of such an idea, let alone get it together to do it. Second of all, Easter in my house consists of last minute, late night stuffing with leftover cheap candy on sale at Kmart, in a plastic basket that I have been using since Noah was maybe 3, and Phare did not have a basket at all but rather a book. How lame is that?
Sometimes you are rosy, and definitely sometimes not. You always sound so genuine to me. In either case, I am often brought to tears, of joy or sorrow, and I always feel blessed that you so often let us in to your heart.
More outtakes please.
Bekah
The Jane I get to be in small group with mirrors the one who wrote this post today. She laughs, cries, challanges, confesses, listens, struggles, questions, praises and loves. And does so with daring honesty, humility, intelligence and joy. To me, it’s a pretty real picture of a woman after God’s own heart.
Love you Jane.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Jackie
Dear Jane:
Belated HAPPY MOTHERS’ DAY!
I hope that you enjoyed your special day in the warm company of family and friends.
Thank you for your blog because you take the time to update us on your family + you have the gift of putting in writing the many emotions that one feels, but may have difficulty explaning/describing to others.
We’ll be including your request in our prayers this week.
Keep smiling and God bless!
Jane,
Hope that you had a beatiful mother’s day.
I so appreciate your candid, thoughtful,posts.
Keep writing, so that we can all keep growing.
I, too, appreciate your candor. I think you do a wonderful job of relaying your feelings and thoughts. Keep up what you’re doing!
I hope you had a wonderful Mother’s Day!!
xoxox
I like what you said about how Mother’s Day is just a little tiny part of the big picture. Sure, flowers and fancy breakfasts don’t happen everyday, but that doesn’t mean it has to be false — it’s just part of the whole picture, warts and manicures all together.
I’m not convinced that is Simon doing the downward dog pose, I think I recall Andy doing something similar when we were kids. Hard to tell.
Well maybe I do get blog envy from ramonamae.com sometimes… not that I need to take more exotic vacations or buy Ugg boots… but that I should take more time to reflect on the good the bad and the ugly of life. I appreciate your ability to articulate your thoughts and feelings with such openness and honesty – your blog always makes me think.
Ok…I’ve been a little busy with my families issues and have missed a few blogs. But seriously, I love reading your blog! To me its looking into the soul of another woman. You are not just sharing your thoughts but you are allowing us a peek into your life, your family the very intimate details deep down within. Maybe you’re not writing the dark and dirty little details but any womanmotherwife can read between the lines. I appreciate every single word you but into this blog and I wouldn’t ask you to change a thing.
i did not realize that you where in the Chicago area. We will be there for a blurr of two and a half days. sat sun and part of Monday maybe we could meet somewhere Monday morning. we will have to be at the airport by two but it would be fun to meet! my email is wyndi lee @ yahoo.com
jane,
who you are is always enough, always real, always lovely because you keep putting your heart out there…there is nothing more precious than that..
and then there are the children who just are…let them lead you…
oh, and they will…they will…into silliness and wonder…enjoy
love,
jackie