Sun 6 May 2007
The Color Purple
Posted by Jane under Updates
[18] Comments
We weighed Ramona this morning, 15lbs 3oz, what a champ. She’s been working pretty hard these past days, sitting up with help, even trying to bear a little weight on her legs. She’s getting the hang of grasping a few select objects and is becoming a tube Houdini. I know I should be thrilled and optimistic. And I am hopeful, but today I’m still just really worried about her.
Sometimes I find myself thinking of Ramona more as a science project than a child, a person with her own spirit and sense of dignity. This helps me get through the tube feedings, the tape removal, the NG placement, all that. I say to her, “I know it hurts honey, but all this stuff is saving your life”. Or I laugh when she cries, like, “Silly Ramona, you’re just a baby, don’t you know that you need this to eat?”
But it’s not funny. It hurts her and she doesn’t understand why I’m doing it. She’s started to flinch now when I touch her face, even if it’s just to give her a loving touch. I’ve been told several times that she won’t remember all of this and I know that’s true. But it is shaping who she is. Teaching her what the world is like. She has nothing to compare to.
So yesterday when we had her tubes out for a bit, I just couldn’t bear the idea of putting them back in/on. I actually wept while putting the tube back into her nose. And I feel like the longer she goes on like this, so weak, so wary, the less her chance becomes of having a “normal” life and being a happy person.
And now we’re starting to sense a downward trend in her coloring and her oxygen saturations. She’s seemed more purple to me lately. She’s had several readings this week that have been right at or just below her baseline of 70. That’s the first time we’ve seen that since we brought her home almost two months ago. It could be her increased activity. It could be that she’s growing so well her blood supply isn’t keeping up with all the extra real estate. The frustrating part is that we just won’t know for awhile. If her sats get lower and lower and tend to be well below her baseline, we’ll take her in and have her evaluated. But otherwise we’ll just have to wait and see.
Please pray that I will be able to toughen up a little and not fall to pieces while caring for her. Please pray that I’ll be strong and patient, an example to Ramona. Please pray that her arteries are growing and that she’ll be able to have the next surgery. Pray that her sweet little spirit will not be broken by all the discomfort and pain she has to go through to get better.
Here she is yesterday, tube-free.
With an aching heart, Jane.
Dear Jane
I get the desire to toughen up a little to get the job done…and I treasure the mushy soft heart you sport too. What a wise and caring mother you are, you model that to both of your children very well.
You guys are always in our prayers because we love you so very much.
peace today
ang
Jane,
What a beauty–just like her mom. My heart is aching with yours, and hoping with yours. I know for certain that you are loving her the best you know how, and you only know what you know, as silly as that may sound. I believe that God fills in the rest, where we can’t, where we fail, and that He knows you and Andy are enough for Ramona, who you are, right now. I love you, think of you constantly, and wish to be with you.
Bekah
Jane:
My heart is breaking for you. I wish so deeply that there was something I could do for you to make these tough, scary patches easier, or at least more bearable. We here in the blogosphere often comment on your strength, your courage, your honesty. I am just as inspired by your weaknesses and your fears — I am reminded to pray more fervently for Ramona and for you, Andy and Simon. I pray for peace and for strength and for protection for Ramona’s little heart — both physical and emotional protection. I cry with you over these intrusions upon her little body. I don’t “just know” Ramona’s going to be OK but I do have hope – and I will hold onto it with both hands, especially when it seems elusive to you.
You are loved.
You are not alone and you have not been forgotten. The heart of our Father breaks with you. He’s been there and he’s seen His child suffer. May he give you every comfort you need. I can’t imagine the ache in your heart but I know the Savior does. Pour out your heart to Him.
Always praying for you…
Sweet Jane, sweet sweet Jane. What an enormous and loving heart you have. what an example and model for us all. Your children know that there is love, care and concern ooozing out of you fingers with each and every touch, each look and each time that you are near them. You are all in our prayers and thoughts each day. How brave and humble you are. God is giving you strength to laugh and cry. Go with God. Blessings and strength to you all!!!
I understand why you want to “toughen up.” It’s been my natural reaction my whole life to turn off my emotions when they overwhelm me. It does work for the short term, but I’m not sure it’s always the best thing to hold it all in. So don’t feel like you’re weak that you have these emotions. When I imagine experiencing what you’ve described, it makes me want to cry to think how hard it must be. I know I would be a basket case in your situation, thinking about all of the “what ifs.” I’ve been thinking lately about how I tend to get used to my blessings but dwell on whatever negatives I can find. Sometimes it’s hard to consciously turn away from thinking about the scary things and purpose to dwell on the positives. I’ll be praying for strength for all of you.
HUGS!!!
You know…I would worry about someone who’s heart didn’t ache having to redo their child’s ng tube, esp. knowing that it brings them discomfort.
All of you are in our thoughts. I pray that Ramona keeps growing and showing more progress.
Dear Jane,
I write to you w an aching heart…aching for your beautiful, precious daughter and for you, for your husband. Of course your daughter’s world does contain discomfort and outright pain- but it is filled w love from mommy and daddy and little sweet Simon. Ramona won’t remember the pain this is true, but she does not understand it now. However, her resilientcy (sp)is endless. Children’s ability to endure the bad and rely on the good is evident in all my work I do w abused children and I know it to be true of their nature in times of sickness as well.
Ramona is growing! This is to be celebrated and to thank God for this wonder. I pray her sats are due to her increased weight gain and her growing little arteries trying to keep up.
Please know that I am praying for you to be able to take it moment by moment and to embrace the miracle of life w as much joy as possible- however tenuous it may be.
You can do it. As you battle the tubes and tape and crap remember there are alot of people out here praying for you all. I am sending you love, comfort and peace from across the miles. Lisa
Jane my friend,
I want so much to say what you need to hear. All the “right” things to make it all better. I just hate that those words don’t exist. I wish so much I could just squeeze you right now and cry with you. I thank God for all the days, hours and minutes you are getting with Ramona and all 4 of you together, while I also pray you will get countless more. You are an awesome Mom.
I miss you and love you more than I can say,
Always in our prayers,
Love,
Jen
Jane,
I don’t have answers to any of the things you are struggling with, and hell, I stay away from the questions, but I cling to the character of God. Ramona Mae is His daughter and He knows every tear, every ache, everything about her. She is His and He has willed this time for her and for you. May God continue to be your comfort and strength Jane. You are Ramona’s mom and guardian by divine appointment. As my husband always says, “God is smarter than me.”
We love you and pray for all of you,
Jackie
Dear Ones,
I think you are doing & feeling all the stuff that parents are supposed to do & feel.
I mean, who wants a parent who isn’t watchful? Or, a parent who doesn’t care about the future, let alone the present, of their child?
I celebrate your watchfulness, your compassion & your hopefulness, & I hold you close in my thoughts & prayers!
Ramona & Simon are beautiful!
praying for you, jane, and wishing you, andy, simona and ramona deep peace – and a few laughs to lend some levity – today.
Jane
I can feel you uneasiness and apprehension, I am like that about things and people I care and am worried about. I have been working in fear about a BIG project I am working on for a hospital in Huntsville Alabama. Worried I would screw it up, worried that it won’t install correctly, worried I didn’t specify it correctly and worried I would look bad. I had a difficult time letting GOD take it over, even with all of my prayers. This weekend GOD spoke to my heart to be grateful for people checking my work, and grateful for the customer. I was given peace about the project when I surrendered with a heart of gratefullness. I am ptraying for you and Mona Mae every day, and she will grow and there will be peace for you and Andy.
Love
A Ro
I’m hoping and praying for you and for the strength that you, Andy, Simon and Ramona need to push foward.
Judy
you are dong a wonderful job, crying while placing an ng tube is not a bad thing mothers who had to do it cried at least once. I might have cried more, ok fine, I am a wuss and cry alot! Izzy older now and just stares at me like why are you crying. If Ramona is gaining so well have they talked about letting her try to eat (bottle) some by mouth? Where they worried about her working to hard before and losing weight? If her weight is good then maybe hey will let you try to bottle feed her some?
I’m praying for your family. I know its hard. And while its true that Ramona won’t remember this, you will. And that is hard on a mother’s heart. Try to take one step at a time.
Love,
Andrea
That picture of Ramona is beautiful! I see both wisdom and innocence in her eyes. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to place an NG tube in your baby. Know that Ramona also hears your sweet voice, smells your comforting scent, sees your warm smile, feels your soft touch, and senses your powerful love.
Jane,
I believe that I told you that we brought our daughter home on ng tube feedings, O2 and a pulse ox. I know every emotion that you are going through. You will be so happy that day when you can remove that ng tube and never have to measure and place it again in Ramona. Our daughter, Grace, had her G-Tube placed at year of age and her little face was so red and raw from the tape from the tubes. We used to sneak tubeless pictures too! Life often does not seem fair for these little fighters. I keep telling myself that all this stuff that my little Grace has been through is keeping her strong. She has a very strong will to live and it sure seems like Ramona has one too. I know we have never met but I pray for your little Ramona every night! Love, Jenni Belmonte