Fri 7 Dec 2007
The Long Haul Continued
Posted by Jane under Updates
[16] Comments
Yesterday was rough. Ramona had her regularly scheduled cardiology follow-up and I just didn’t have a good feeling about it beforehand. Her cold is still lingering and during times of activity her feet and lips have been turning blue. Not enough to warrant any action, just enough to scare me. And although I am pretty sure it’s just the cold, it was hard not to wonder if it might be related to her cardiac status.
So they did the usual. Weight, height, blood pressure, pulse-ox and echo. She weighs now 21 lbs. 10 oz., is 29.5 inches long and blood pressure was 99/45. Her pulse-ox came out at 87%. The echo showed no aneurysm, thank God, and showed that there is flow going through the repaired area. Unfortunately they were not able to visualize the left pulmonary artery on the echo, meaning it was still very small, but they did see the right pulmonary artery and very roughly estimated it to be 4.5-5mm.
So here’s the plan: She will have her next follow-up in February. Then sometime in March we will do an angiogram, which is a catheter procedure that will require general anesthesia and an overnight hospital stay. Because her BPA’s have not shown significant growth the cardiologist seemed to feel it was unlikely that the next surgery would be a complete repair. Instead it might be possible to place a shunt to the LPA if it has grown enough or they might have to try something else, like a dilatation or unifocalization. They have not ruled out that her arteries might grow enough for the full repair someday, but it’s still not clear if that will be possible. And, as many of you already know, without that repair Ramona will not have a long-term future.
So I’ve been crying and crying and crying. I know that not all hope is lost. I know we’re blessed to have her now, no matter what happens next. I know she still has a lot of options. It’s just that between appointments I convince myself that everything is fine, that next time we go in we’ll get really good news, that the hardest times are already behind us. Maybe it’s just to get through my days, but I don’t often dwell on the seriousness of Ramona’s prognosis. But now I’m dwelling like crazy.
I’m just not ready to lose her. Everyday we spend together rewires places in my heart to love her and need her more and more. When I hold her in my arms at night and breathe in slowly, sharing her fast little breaths and kissing the top of her head, I feel a peace and warmth that I cannot imagine living without. God help me, I come undone just thinking about it.
When you’re in the heat of a crisis you don’t have time to consider all the small griefs and losses you’re bound to encounter in the aftermath. Adrenaline takes over and you just do what needs to be done. But what do you do when you’re crisis is chronic? When it’s bound to stretch out over years? Do you just keep doing what needs to be done, without pausing to consider that your life is turned upside down and nothing makes sense?
I’ve tried guarding my heart against feeling too much for Ramona. That was easy at the beginning when she was so introverted, so very sick. But as she learns and grows and reaches out to us, I just can’t do it. Yesterday she was playing with a little ball game that our friends the Sages sent for her birthday. Each time she would stretch up tall and plop the ball into the right hole, she would look up at me and slap her hand over her mouth as if to say “Oopsie!” How can you not let that in? But when you do you love her more and more and then you hurt more when you have to think of losing her. I guess that’s how it should be, but it’s just so heartbreaking.
Thanks for listening. Cardiology plus holidays plus PMS has got me pretty tweaked. Please continue to pray for peace and protection in our home. Here’s a shot of some finger painting Simon did last week. It sums up my mantra for today: Life Is Messy.
Love, Jane.
Dear Gracious Heavenly Father. Thank you for blessing our family with the miracles whose names are Ramona, Simon, Phare, Jack, Sam, Connor and Noah. Thank you for the hedge of protection around Ramona provided by the legions of holy angels guarding her. Thank you for the healing ministry of the doctors, nurses, therapists and medical community. Lord, I come to you in awe of your grace, mercy and love, humbled by the complete, precious and eternal gift given us through Your Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus. I stand now at the foot of your throne with Jesus at your right hand as my mediator, and as a patriarch of this family plead my case before you. You are Creator of all which was made certain by Your Word. You healed the lame man, made the blind man see, raised Lazarus and the small girl from death. In You all things are possible. I claim your promise that when two or more are gathered together in Your name, you will hear our call. I claim your healing promise through Jesus, our Lord, for Ramona. I humbly ask, with pure faith in the certainty of Your will and completeness of your love and mercy, for complete healing of Ramona. I ask that Ramona grow and develop into the full flower of the gifts and talent with which You have blessed her. I ask that Ramona’s ministry to Your Kingdom flourish and bring honor and glory to your name. I ask that she have a beautiful voice to sing your praises, and that she be permitted to use her voice to sing to You at my funeral. I ask for this all in the name of Jesus. Amen.
Jane
I am sorry that the clinic visit wasn’t more encouraging. I know that there was good news there but it would be much better to know that the full repair could be scheduled sometime. It must be heart-breakingly hard to continue in this way.
Wren’s repair is also partial and we have not been told what the future holds but his diagnosis is not nearly as serious as Ramona’s. Even so, I find it very hard to make sense of this reality. On one hand everyone is rejoicing at how Wren is thriving and I am too. On the other hand we do not know whether OHS is just around the corner and his apparent well-being could mask heart failure.
I think with many physical concerns we take our emotional cues from what we see. If someone looks ill we are worried and feel compassion. With most conditions people look very sick if they are very sick and that is what is so difficult with cardiac conditions. I have read many parents of kids with CHDs sharing how fearful they are on the eve of routing Cardiology checkups because you can seldom guess whether news will be reassuring, good or bad. It feels as if doom and redemption are both just a flutter away.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I really hear your pain and uncertainty. While we may feel it is common sense to protect ourselves there is really no question of just loving these little ones to bits right now [wren is licking the floor right now and then picking up a silver bell in his teeth and shaking it]. Wiser people than me have said that loving all we can right now is the best way to love and the best way to be anyway.
Shannon
Life is messy. I’m so sorry, Jane and Andy, for all the shredding of your hearts. But I’m so glad, too, that the four of you have each other to love and know for however long that may be. Each of us as a parent has this terror buried within – that at any time we could have our babies torn from us. It is some kind of miracle that we can survive even a day with that sort of unknowing, and still have energy left to enjoy each other. Some days we don’t really, because we feel too close to the terror. You guys live more in that unknowing that the most of us, and I so admire how present you are to both kids. Blessings to you from here; may you be lifted up.
Jane,
My heart aches for you as I read your emotional journey. It is no surprise to me that all of this is tearing you up. You have such a huge heart and give so much of yourself. Your Children are a part of you and get the best of your love which is a huge gift. I can’t imagine how hard it is to live in the moment and sieze each day with Joy. While part of you is at the same time overwhelmed with concern and dispair. It is a leason to me to look at each day as the gift it is. None of us knows how many days we have. You don’t take them for granted like I think I have been doing. Big lesson for me in that.
I want so for you to have a certainty of the future and to know Ramona will grow and have a happy healthy life. I continue to pray for that and will pray for your heart ache as parents as well. You need some serious strength. i wish I was there to hold you up when you need it and cry with you as well.
Love you all
Jen
Wayne – I don’t know you, but I stand with you as a siste in Christ, heart to heart at the foot of the throne, before Thee O Lord, Almighty God, as intercessors with our mediator and Saviour Jesus on behalf of Thy daughter, O Father, Ramona Mae. I beseech Thee O God with a chorus of groanings that only Jesus can fathom and bring before Thee. I trust in Thy will O my God and praise Thy will be done as I humbly stand before Thee and ask for mercy and healing for Ramona Mae, in times such as these, full of darkness and lies and the wisdom of men, to touch your little one Ramona Mae with the light of Thy healing hand for all to see and behold the glory of God. I pray this in the name of Jesus Our Messiah. Amen.
Oh Jane, it is just so, so hard. You are so strong, even if you don’t feel like it right now. We are all praying, and we are with you. We love you and Andy and Simon and Ramona so much. Lord, have mercy.
Dear Jane
What a beautiful prayer granpa Wayne wrote. I am feeling your pain and anxiety and will continue to pray for miracles. Thank you for always letting yourself be vulnerable and open. You are a wonderful mother and wife to Andy, as Andy is a geat father and husband. I am lifting you up.
Lots of love
Aunt Ro
Dear Jane,
I’m so sorry to read that you guys are living through this right now. But, as your post points out, when are you NOT living through it??? ‘Chronic crisis’ struck me – when do you get a break? I wish I had something more valuable to say here. But you are doing a good job, making this up as you go. You don’t need to be super-zen mama, accepting the unknowns of life without teary, emotional, freak-outs. You just have to be Jane and use what you got. You seem to have got a lot.
Love,
Molly
Jane,
We are meeting on Friday. Would love if the 4 of you could come too. Call me if you are interested. Email me if you’ve lost it. Hope you can come. I think you’d all get a lot from us.
Trish
p.s. Amen to what Wayne posted. Beautiful words.
I can relate all too well to the questions you posed and it breaks my heart to think of Ramona in the way we discussed earlier tonight. These kids are special and here for a reason. I keep reminding myself that Seamus’ fighting spirit is not only ingrained in him, but is a result of all the fighting he still has to do. Ramona is the same way. Sometimes I think we’re lucky. We will never, ever , take a day of our children’s lives for granted and cherish every moment we have while praying that the moments last forever. Love you guys. Thank you for all the support you’ve given us. I can’t wait til Seamus steals Ramona’s nuk again! xoxo
Dear Jane and family:
I’m sorry that the past week wasn’t very encouraging :I
Misa de Gallo, 4:30am Mass from Dec 16-24, starts on Sunday. I was planning to complete it this year, but I didn’t really know what I’d like to wish for in the coming year (They say it’ll come true if you hear Mass on all nine days…). Our family will be wishing for Ramona’s BPA growth.
Praying that you enjoy a Merry Christmas, too…God bless!
Hi Jane,
I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I do understand. We have been hearing that a repair might be in Drew’s future for almost four years now. And I hope and I pray, but I just don’t know what will happen. It’s hard not to guard yourself to the possibility of disappointment. I have learned that we are in a state of chronic crisis and chronic grief. I think just understanding that makes it a little easier to bear. I, like you, operate most of the time in a state of psuedo-denial. I think it’s a protective instinct. And when we are reminded that everything is not ok it’s shocking to us all over again. To answer your question of what do you do when your crisis is chronic, yes you keep doing what needs to be done and live your life the best you can. You are doing a good job of that. I’m rambling on and on, but just know that I think of you often and continue to pray for your family.
We will most definitely pray for peace and protection for all of you.
I am always at a loss for words on this site but I want you both to know that my heart is aching for you. We will continue to pray without ceasing for Ramona’s heart.
Whatever you need let me know. If you need Rachel on our day for your upcoming appointments it should not be a problem. Aidan has backups.
Jane, Andy, Ramona and Simon,
To a very beatiful family. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. And Janel, thank you for the beautiful reminder to “pray without ceasing for Ramona’s heart.” I too wish there was more I could say, but I do love you all very much and feel honored to walk this journey with you. God bless you.
Love, Val
jane, i keep coming back to your posting and reading it without knowing exactly what to say. its just that i kept thinking about your last line, “life is messy” with simon’s painting as the telling backdrop. i wanted you to know that before reading that line, my eyes went straight to the photo and i said to myself, “wow. how beautiful and colorful is life!” then i read your last statement, life is messy. and i guess this is why they say a picture is worth a thousand words because life IS messy, and it is beautiful, and it is colorful. and with that, i will wish and pray for more beauty and color for the family these days with a little less mess. peace. sep