Sun 23 Dec 2007
Light of the World
Posted by Jane under Updates
[12] Comments
So the holidays are upon us. People on the roads are stressed and crazy, the clerks in the stores have lost the will to care and I can just feel all my hopes and expectations taking hold just in time to be disappointed by the way things actually turn out. Merry Christmas.
It seems like every year right around Thanksgiving, despite all past experience and reason, I get all jacked-up about how fun and wonderful the holidays will be this year. Then as all the activities and tasks I’ve set for myself to “make Christmas meaningful” get checked off the list, I get more and more tired and more and more depressed. When Christmas finally comes around I’d be happy to just lay on the floor and drink eggnog. But I can’t because I’ve got to make a 1/20th scale gingerbread model of Monticello and cobble shoes for the homeless like I promised I would.
Andy came home from errands on Saturday lamenting the traffic and asking, “Why doesn’t everybody just stick to the routine?”. I think he was pointing out that if we weren’t all clogging the roads and running ourselves ragged around the holidays we’d probably be much happier. So I got to thinking, “What am I really searching for this time of year? Why all the fuss?”.
I’ve been reading up on Kierkegaard. Danish guy. Spent his whole life thinking about the spiritual, religious and pyschological issues that are so in the forefront of my mind these days. And as I was pondering the meaning of Christ coming into the world and what it should mean for me personally, especially this year, I came across this quote of his:
“Adversity draws men together and produces beauty and harmony in life’s relationships, just as the cold of winter produces ice-flowers on the window-panes, which vanish with the warmth.”
I’ve thought about this often. The beautiful and almost sacred bond you share with those you’ve endured adversity and crisis with. But the thing that struck me was the bit about warmth. I think this sums up what I’ve been struggling with when it comes to gratitude. As soon as the crisis passes, my gratitude seems to dry up. This made me thinking maybe it’s our nature for the ice flowers of humilty and gratitude to evanesce in the warmth of God’s provision.
And maybe that’s why the holidays can be so frustrating some times. Maybe the driving, the worrying, the exhaustion is all part of the winter that comes literally and figuratively on Christmas Eve. And maybe that’s all part of preparing our hearts to briefly enjoy the flowers of humility and gratitude that bloom when families gather and believers pray as one for the Light of God to come into the world. Maybe my drive for the “perfect” Christmas really just boils down to a hope for togetherness. Togetherness with family and friends, togetherness with God. That we can take in the cold of winter together, appreciate the bloom of gratitude it brings and then really feel it when light and warmth once again comes into the world.
I feel like I’m talking a little crazy so I’m gonna stop, but I’d love to hear your thoughts, as always.
Merry Christmas, Jane.
P.S. Ramona had her swallow study and it was determined that we need to be thickening her formula as she is aspirating very quickly on thin liquids. We’re hoping this might be helpful for her and allow her to progress in her oral feeding. It does, however, mean she has a long road ahead of her in terms of her feeding issues, G tube or not. I hope to post more on this in the next couple of days. Here are some shots of the boo-boo’s taken with my phone. The first shows cute Miss Mona Mae on her way to the pediatrician, the second shows how ridiculously long Simon’s hair is when combed out at bath time.
P.S.S. Another winter quote that really has me thinking:
“Too bad Lassie didn’t know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said “Lassie, go skate for help,” she could do it.”
-Deep Thoughts, Jack Handy
(Welcome to Holland!)
Hi Jane
I consider it a great accomplishment to be talking about Kierkegaard and Christmas and G-tubes in the same written breath. As always, your writing is both honest and thought provoking. I hope you get your Christmas togetherness and a few moments of perfection which (to me) are the times that are truly evanescent and dissolve under scrutiny.
When I think of perfect Christmases they are sensual memories from my childhood: aromatic with cloves and roasting beast and the lavendar soap used by my great aunts with purple tinted hair. The are not about perfection. The pressure I feel is to give my children that same sensual richness and family diversity which I now translate into perfection. Being an immigrant twice over (to Australia then the US) this is not easy.
I hope you are wrong in saying that all the struggle leading to Christmas is part of the adversity which makes the moment more sweet. I would prefer not to make that suffering part of my process although whenever we are grasping towards an idea rather than enjoying the journey there is some relief when it is all over and we can start living in the imperfect moment again.
You can probably tell I have thought a lot about this since I am a great imaginer of ideals and have a lot of stored memory from my old home.
I am just blathering now. I hope the news from the GI study gives you something tangible to work with. Wyndi and Izzy have had a similar path with aspirating and I hope she gets to reply some time. She is getting ready for her wedding so is quite busy right now.
Good luck with the micro-scale gingerbread city
Shannon
Hi Jane,
I’m wishing you and your family a perfect Christmas of togetherness.
With Love,
Andrea
“It’s like the new afro for the white man!” That Simon could give Derek Zoolander a run for his money. And Mona looks very disappointed that the gingerbread Monticello isn’t finished yet.
Keep slogging through, Martha Jane Stewart. Everything you touch is special.
Jane
As always, your writing takes my breath away. Really. It is so easy to relate to all of what you write and sometimes you have put what I am thinking into words and I am like “EXACTLY, THAT’S IT!!”
I hope you and your beautiful family have a wonderful Christmas.
Dina
Jillian’s mom
I assume you’re kidding about the 1/20th scale Monticello. It was, of course, supposed to be 1/18th scale. We’ll be home today till 3, so you can drop it off any time at your convenience.
Hey Jon,
I’m having trouble getting the dumb waiter to operate smoothly so it’ll probably be closer to 4. I’ll just leave it on the porch.
Jane,
I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. You are such a gift to me. And thank you for the new pictures….your children are beautiful of course!
Love to you all,
Val
Izabell has been on thickened fluids since her heart surgery. She failed many swallow studies. It took her a while to get strong enough to drink/suck enough though the bottle and was a ng tube until she eat enough. Once eating orally she was on high calorie until she gained well enough to go to normal cals. She is still on thickened but has passed a swallow study and we are working on thins. She passed the study but chokes on thins still so we are taking it slow nut at least see improvement with the last study. Every step is huge and mighty for them. thickened liquids will protect her airway so hopefully she will do well with them. we will be keeping her and progress in our thoughts and hope that you celebrate every victory with her. We have cupcakes and dance on our special days:) email if you have ? or want to vent when you see a mom hand their child a cup of water they took a second to fill while you have to thicken evrything. I did feel a little jealousy over those moms who left the house without coolers of thickened milk and juice and less planning I would scold myself for being jealous. Then rejoice in the fact that Izzy was still with me and growing, healing .:) Izabell loved smoothies! They are thick enough to swallow and then she is drinking something we are and feels special! I add thickener to them so that if they do melt she is still safe, they really help on days she doesn’t want to eat! I know that it is hard and the unknown is very frighting and it is hard all lot of the time and hope that the people that have shown you support continue though out!
well, miss mona looks like she knows that she’s going to the doctor and is none to happy about it…:(
holidays sometimes suck (ask karen), but usually jesus shows up and then things are better.
best wishes to your lovely family-
(btw- love the helmet!)
and the hair- it makes me smile- he looks a bit top-heavy.
Dear Ones,
I am reminded of a Christmas many years ago when I decided to give myself a break.
I was the young mother of 3 little boys(Andy was probably not yet 1 year old) living in a new community many miles away from family & friends. I’m sure I was trying to make a Christmas for myself, my husband & children that would feel like the Christmas celebrations I had known as a child, complete with all the special foods, decorations & traditions I had known & loved.
By the time Christmas Eve arrived, I was relieved to just sit still in church & contemplate the meaning of Jesus’ birth, of God’s intervention in human history. The altar, choir stalls & pulpit in the small wooden church were decorated with fresh cut holly & bright red poinsettia plants. The stained glass windows reflected candle light. Andy napped in his car seat in the pew while his dad & I held his wiggly brothers on our laps.
That night I reminded myself that God’s Love for me & mine is constant, not seasonal, & that my response to His Love – my wish to “make” Christmas a special celebration – ought to last the calender year long. I didn’t have to run myself ragged on any one day of the year to please Him.
I think we are hard-wired by God to seek beauty. I think you & your dear ones are beautiful, & I love you.
I stumbled upon Ramona’s website when I was on the Children’s Memorial Marathon team in October. My nephew has Tetrology of Fallot, and Children’s has become a place that is very near and dear to our hearts. I was thrilled to get to raise money and run the marathon in honor of my nephew. I follow your blog and wanted to let you know that somehow Ramona’s sweet face crosses my mind every day so I pray for her very often! My husband and I spent the New Years weekend in Chicago. My sister lives on Fullerton, so we ended up passing Children’s on our way out of town last night. I just wanted to let you know that as we passed I thought of Ramona and your family. I made my husband stop so we could sit there – right in front of the hospital – and pray for you guys. On New Years Day we prayed for Ramona’s little heart, that God would heal it. We prayed for your faith, that God would continue to strengthen it. And we prayed for your family, for Simon, that God would bless you all for your continual faith and hope in Him. I know we are total strangers……but I am Nikki from Michigan and I pray for you guys every day. I pray that God will Bless you and that He will give you a peace today that surpasses all understanding.
Love, Nikki