So, almost every mom I know has a story of some horrifying thing one sibling has done to another. For instance, one friend’s infant son crawled up to her covered head to toe in poo. Only it wasn’t his poo. It was donated poo from big brother that had been lovingly applied to every nook and crannie.

I have also heard that no matter what you do, once one person in the family is sick, everyone gets it. So when Simon came down with a cold two nights ago I got out the Purell and have been keeping it flowing, trying to protect Ramona. I can tell I’m getting it and Andy says he is too.

Today I was feeding Ramona her bottle in her room. Andy is working from home today but was on a conference call. Simon was roaming freely from the kitchen to Ramona’s room, which is fine because everything which could conceivably be of any harm (or any fun) is gated off. So when Simon walked up, all drooly and snotty, I was watching Ramona’s hands and feet and face carefully to make sure he wasn’t going to touch her.

Next thing I know, I look down and Simon has somehow gotten ahold of her feeding tube, has bitten open the port and is sucking out some of the contents of Ramona’s stomach. I honestly think he made it all happen in less than 15 seconds because I was watching him like a hawk.

All this to say, I am somewhat pleased to have a something-gross-you-did-to-your-sister story but am terrified that he dripped some goo out of his little petri dish of a mouth into her stomach. Also, I’m slightly concerned that he might have sucked out some of her Methadone.

Here he is in all his booger-y glory with the scooter Grammy got him for his birthday. Be praying that Mona doesn’t get sick, that’s the last thing she needs.

Jane.

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