Ramona Mae

This is what a whack job grief makes you. When Andy and I lost our first pregnancy I remember thinking, “If I hadn’t been so concerned about the pregnancy and gone to the doctor so early, if I’d have demonstrated a little faith, this wouldn’t have happened”. And today, while holding our little Ramona I thought, “I bet she was fine before. If I hadn’t taken her to the doctor so many times, if I hadn’t scheduled that echo-cardiogram, they wouldn’t have found this problem and her heart would have been fine. God is trying to teach me something about worrying.”
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Many thanks to those of you who have volunteered to sit up with Ramona overnight! Your love for Ramona and family has been so encouraging. Unfortunately, the hospital is now informing us that only parents can stay with Ramona overnight, so we need to scrap our earlier plan. Thanks, though!

Our little Mona Mae is a wonder. I remember the first time the doctors did rounds the morning after her surgery. They spoke in hushed tones, they were serious, they were soothing. This morning they just marched right in and started teasing each other and the nurse, making comments about Ramona’s progress like “awesome!”, “fantastic!” and “amazing!”. (more…)

Andy’s mom (I know a lot of you have met the lovely Sue) always refers to Simon as being chosen, not “adopted”. Simon was chosen by us when we opened our hearts to adoption, chosen by his birth mother when she courageously placed him for adoption and most importantly chosen by God to be our son, our first born, our best boy.
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Last Wednesday before Ramona’s open heart surgery Jane and Andy prayed to be able to look into Ramona’s eyes and connect with her again. Today as they handed Ramona to Jane and she calmed in her arms her prayers were answered. (more…)

The Tube is out! I sit here honored to witness Jane and Ramona connecting eye to eye. (more…)

I’m sitting with Ramona now, she’s sleeping peacefully. I can’t believe that in a few short hours, just one week after open heart surgery, they are going to be removing the tube that helps her breathe. It’s a miracle!
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They are right now giving Ramona a steroid to help with the swelling of her esophagus and are going to be taking the tube out today. Please pray that she will be able to breathe well enough on her own to get that much needed oxygen and blood flow.

I’m trying to make sense of all of this. It must be natural, I think, to try and reason it out when something bad happens to someone you love. What could I have done differently? What if? Why her?
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I’m chock-a-block with “deep thoughts” lately. A friend of ours from Mucca Pazza, accordian Ronnie, teaches music classes with babies. She told with me once that she thinks every baby has their own bounce. A tempo that they will move up and down to in that jerky way that toddlers do.
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